Lisa's Story

Lisa came into custody at age twelve due to neglect. Lisa's mother contacted her periodically for several years, but this contact was not leading them toward reunification, and Lisa's desire to have a permanent family remained. She had no contact with her father. When she was sixteen, a judge asked her if she would like parental rights to be terminated. Lisa stated, "I chose for the rights to be terminated because I had to let the excess baggage go in order to be who I knew I wanted to be. I had to let go and go on. She is my mother and will always be my mother, but I had to draw a line."

Following this hearing, she also recalls, "It was scary to put myself out there and say that I wanted a family, because my caseworker had shared very honestly with me about the fact that it was more difficult to find families for a teenager. But I was willing to take the risk. I wanted a family."

Additionally, Lisa had lived with the same foster family since she came into care, and they stated that they were unable to adopt her. Lisa continued, "I just kept thinking about my future, and I wanted it to include a family to go home to when I was in college, a family to go home to for the holidays, a mom and dad to call for advice or to just share joys and discouragements, a father to walk me down the aisle when I get married, and grandparents when I have children."

An adoptive family was selected for Lisa when she was seventeen, and they finalized the adoption one week prior to her eighteenth birthday. "It was like it was meant to be - there are so many things that just fit," Lisa states of her adoptive family. "We were matched so well," she added. Lisa does not recall any hesitation about being adopted. "I knew I wanted a family."

What does the word "adoption" mean to Lisa? "To me, it means being selected, being chosen to be part of a family. My family did not have the liberty of choosing the children that were born to them, but they had to choose me in order for me to be adopted."

Postscript: Lisa is pursuing her undergraduate degree in social work with a minor in leadership. She plans to further her education with a graduate degree in law. She wants to serve as an advocate and create an impact on policies that relate to children in state custody.

This story was originally published in the September/October 2003 issue of Adopt Me.